Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
