I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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