I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize