No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
