i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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