I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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