Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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