Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
