Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize