I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize