Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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