I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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