The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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