I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
