before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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