my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
handjob tips. give me some.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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