Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
