it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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