I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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