yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my shit smells like andre
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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