I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
