I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
