oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
