id be glad to
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
