i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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