There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize