eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
