will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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