I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
