Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
