i jhust puked up my retainher.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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