so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
