ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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