I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Mom said you looked used
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize