So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize