So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
