i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I want is dick and wine.
Shame is for Republicans.
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