Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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