It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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