I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
