the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
