Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
