when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
soo... how was my night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
