Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
