DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
