well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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