I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
