here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
