Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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