Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
