I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
