Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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