I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
