There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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