They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
