Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
