Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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