doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
