forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
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You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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